I said I wouldn't use an internal monologue (because the character has lost the ability to use words not just physically, but also mentally), but vocalizations are fine and help a lot.
One thing I often notice with first-person views in TF art is that the way the muzzle (beak, whatever) obstructs the view is actually not how you would see it. Normally it's drawn in the center as an opaque blur, but my nose obstructs my view both on the left and on the right side semi-transparently. So it would be more right to have it there twice, but a bit shifted to the left/right and with the right perspective.
What's cool about my current project is that for the first time I feel like I understand what some art assignments at school were about. My art tends to be very literal, a direct reflection of reality and more recently my fantasy. I used to draw streets with houses, my room, objects, and now characters. There was no deeper meaning to it. So I hated it whenever the teacher told us to draw something meaningful around a completely random color splotch, for instance. I never knew what to draw.
But I can see it now. I want to transport the message that someone had transformed into a different creature. I want to replicate the feelings I had when reading the first chapter of Transliterated (the story I recommended a few days ago). I don't want to rely on crude tools such as an internal monologue or a textual narration, so that forces me to think about how to get the feelings across with the moments I show, the perspective, the art style, everything else I can use.
So here's my rough plan. This genre needs good knowledge about anatomy, so at first I'll focus on abstract drawings that imply the transformation without showing the process (in detail). Turns out that by itself already is quite a challenge because you have to tell the story another way. It also gets me to try more immersive perspectives instead of the faraway one I usually do
I very much agree with you that mental abilities aren't inherent to specific species. Claiming our level of intelligence as human is the epitome of humanity's arrogance. The fact of the matter is that we simply can't know and have to rely on observations which will always be centered around our perspective, because we don't know anything else.
My perspective on this isn't to categorize mental aspects as human and nonhuman, but rather to assume the view of a neutral outsider and compare how much my actions and behaviors align with those of humans. That's what I meant by "Animals don't sit in front of a computer and have discussions about identity and concepts": because they don't, at least not the way humans do. I steer clear of any assumptions and just go by what's observable. And that gives me pretty good indications about whether I'm mentally closer to a species of animal or humans.
As for the desire to be an animal, my line of thinking is as follows: Desire means to wish for a state that currently isn't true. If I want to drink water, it's because I'm thirsty and I want to enter a state where I'm not thirsty anymore. Similarly, I want to be an animal because my current existence is not being an animal. If I already were an animal, I wouldn't feel this desire. This is why to me it feels like an affirmation of my humanity.
The answer to this question generally doesn't really matter to me either. It only came up once I looked into alterhuman communities and saw them being characterized as "we all have nonhuman identities in common". Joining would force me to give an answer (not even to the community, but to myself), and then I have to know if I stand behind it.
I'm regaining my motivation to draw and I'm thinking about trying something new again. I'm a huge fan of transformation art and stories and I want to give a project like this a try at least once. I'm not sure about the specifics yet, whether it will be just one piece or a comic, and what exactly is depicted. There are lots of possibilities!
I think this experiment has already done a lot to help me express my ideas better.
I was also hoping to make it an outlet for when I have these strong "I want to be an animal" moments, but talking about my identity mostly from an analytical perspective isn't really it. I don't even know if the things I would like to express can even be expressed. The limitations of language.
I get what you mean. I avoid categorizing mental abilities as inherently human or nonhuman and instead look at it from the perspective of a neutral outsider: How much do my actions and behaviors align with those of humans? The answer is very, even if I can handle animals better than humans and even though I feel different from all the people around me. I won't let my feelings cloud my judgement.
But yeah, in the end the answer to this question only matters to me when I have to stand behind the answer. And I wouldn't if I were to claim a nonhuman identity.
