"But what if someone got your email password—" At least that would be my own fucking fault for using a bad password. And that never happened. Guess what just happened, though? Someone else may have gotten my phone number and can now access my accounts. Fuck all the way off.
After trying many different solutions, it turns out that Gnome not only runs well on my Raspi 4, it's also the most usable solution for a small but very wide 1280x400 touch display.